Another Farewell

Good-bye yet again, my dear friend. I pray that wherever whatever is left of you may be, you are at peace, enjoying the peace you so searched for and spread during your time on this planet. I miss your calm gentleness, your quietness of spirit. May this flight be your ultimate journey into the infinity of enlightenment whatever that is.

A Quiet and Gentle Departure

Dear friends, whoever is reading this, I have a sad message to deliver to you.

This is Mai Harinder Kaur, not Lily writing.

My dearest friend, closer than a sister, died last autumn, after a brief illness.

Her passing was as quiet and peaceful - and fearless - as her life, with her husband holding her right hand and me holding her left and her children gathered around her. . Her last words to us were, "I hope you two wild and beloved people will finally learn to make your peace." Then she smiled at us, closed her eyes and murmured, "Ah, yes."

She left us thus.

I have not written about her death in any of my blogs or on my web page, nor has her husband, Raj. I am not yet ready to talk about this loss.

I still am not up to writing about her; that will have to wait. I just feel the time has come to inform those who read here.

She is much missed.

Yet Another Conversation - Mai Needs To Wake Up!

I am looking through Mai's pictures to find some pictures to put in here. Except the last one. That is from me.



I am green. Mai is blue. Simon is red.


Shall we talk?


You and Joan Rivers.

You look exhausted and I think you need to talk.









Well, yeah, sort of. Simon has decided we need to argue and fight about religion.



Don't you have some sort of rule against that?

Sort of. Not a rule exactly. It just isn't done. He's welcome to believe anything he wants. But he isn't welcome to coerce me! I try not to get annoyed...



I know you. You hide it, but it pisses you off. Big time.

I got treated to another one of his sermons last night.

(Accusingly): You don't believe in God. You just pretend! You are a hypocrite.

(Refusing to argue): Whatever.

(Raising voice): You love your brothers than you love God! They think they're big men running around in those turbans of theirs and those awful beards.

Please leave my family out of your religious tirade!

(Angrily): You don't believe in God. He is so angry! He sent that tsunami to kill all those sex predators in Thailand. And he's sending earthquakes and floods and wars! He's going to destroy all this horrible stuff! The devil is ruling here and God is going to destroy him and all his followers.

(Under my breath): That is your belief. I don't believe God is ever angry.

You are so stupid! The Bible says he is an angry God!

The Bible is your book. It's good you believe in your book. But it's not my book.

YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN THE BIBLE!!!! YOU ARE INSANE!!

He went on and on and on. I was having acid reflux and he just wouldn't shut up! I finally shouted at him, 'Do we have any Gaviscon? He actually heard me and got some for me. And then continued. On and on and on.


What did you say?


I just started jaaping naam. Quietly. It doesn't seem to bother him and it centers me.


(Tentatively):Mai, I need to tell you something.


OK.

I'm tired of the way he bullies you.









WHAT!?




I'm tired of the way he bullies you. He's so mean and nasty and you don't even see it! Everybody else does! Even your Kaurs. The way he talks to you! If Raj ever talked so mean to me, I'd be in tears. And I'd probably go home to Mata.


Oh, he's not that bad. Just a little overbearing!


(Stamping foot):And intolerant and accusing and just plain mean! He makes me so angry.

You? Angry?


Yes!. Me! Angry!

My sweet, gentle Lilly?

Yes, your sweet, gentle Jain Lilly. He makes me sin; I'm so angry. You know what I think?


Huh?

He doesn't deserve you. You're so loving and loyal to him and the way he treats you just isn't right! I think you should hop on a plane or a train or something and move to Montreal before his flat-out nastiness kills you!


Are you out of your mind?


No. Are you out of your mind?


Look. Tolerance is not part of his religion. In fact, intolerance is built into it; it's part of it. I can't expect him to change! He really, truly believes all that crap! There I said it! We have to sin because of Adam and Eve; we have no choice. But it makes God mad anyway and the only way we can be saved is by a human sacrifice. It's insane. The whole religion is insane. And uncivilised. OK. But he believes it and he believes that if I don't believe it I'll burn in hell forever. Whew. A speech.

Please, Mai, be serious! I'm afraid all this stress is making you really sick. Literally. Everyone sees how he treats you.

It really doesn't bother me all that much. Simon is Simon. That's just what he's like. And I won't turn my home into a war zone.

You won't - It already is! Your home already is a war zone. He attacks and attacks and you don't even notice it most of the time. There's a war going on and you're losing because you refuse to fight!

Look in the mirror! You look like hell. Your eyes are puffy and your skin is pasty and you look - I don't know, but you don't look good!

I'm just tired. You know I have trouble sleeping.

And he makes it worse.

Don't do this to me, Lilly.

Somebody needs to. And I'm the only one who has the nerve to talk to you.

On the fucking Internet for the whole world to see?

Hardly anyone reads my blog. And the ones who do care about you and they'll back me up.

Are you really going to post this?

Yes. It's all been saved as we write.

[For those who don't know, Mai usually does the typing, but I'm doing it this time]

Lilly, please don't.

No, I'm going to. Your friends need to know what's going on. That's enough. Now, Mighty Warrior, go take a nap. I'm going to post and you can't stop me! It's only because I love you. We all do, but you have no sense at all when it comes to the people you love. You really are Melanie!

Mai snorts. And stomps off.

I slipped some ambien in her tea. She is now sound asleep and she's going to be angry if she reads this and I know she will. I've never done anything like this before. But, all her friends, we need to bring her to her senses. Boo. Eleanor. I know you read my blog. I don't know if Kamal does, but if you do, you need to try to talk sense into her. Who else is in her inbox. Harjot. Joey. Confused Khalsa. Kulbir. It is not an emergency yet, so I won't write you, but she is so stubborn and she really does believe that everyone she loves is very, very good. Simon does not mean to hurt her, but he is. I don't think he knows any better.

Another Conversation

Shwedagon Pagoda

Rangoon, Burma

This is Lilly and Mai again. This time, I, Lilly will be green and Mai will be blue.

You want to be green?

Yes.

Why green?

Green is growing things, like plants and it's pretty and I like it!

OK. Cool.

Everyone wants to hear about how your time at the cabin went. Can we talk about that?

No.

No?

No. It was during Dashalakshana and I was fasting and meditating and praying and it was very personal and I don't want to put it on the Internet.

Oh. OK. What then? Burma?

I don't want to talk about that. It makes me cry. And those horrible pictures on your blog. Do they really need to be there?

Yes, that's the only way people will understand and maybe respond.

So are they responding?

Not that I can see. There have been only a couple of outclicks to the petition from sometimes - 2, and four from the Khaliblog. I guess anything's better than nothing.

Eleanor is really trying to get information out.

Yes, she is. I think it's getting to her, though.

Maybe she won't like us talking about her.

I don't think she'll mind. We're saying good things.

Boo isn't around?

I don't know; she isn't blogging for a while, but she might be reading?

You think so?

I really have no idea.

I want to tell her something?

?

BOO, THIS IS LILLY. WE NEED YOU TO COME BACK AND WRITE ABOUT BURMA. I KNOW YOU NEED TO REST, BUT THIS IS TOO IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO BE SILENT. I WILL PUT A LINK ON MY SIGHT FOR THIS PETITION AND I NEVER MAKE POLITICAL STATEMENTS. PLEASE. Please forgive me for yelling at you.

Lilly, dear! In 50 years, I've never known you to scream at anyone!

Yell.

Yell, then.

*sheepishly* I know. Those pictures made me cry. And I can't think of anything else to do.

Fast and meditate and pray?

Please don't make fun of me.

I'm not. I'm very serious. What the hell else can anybody do? Demonstrations here and there, I suppose.

This is so sad. Those pictures make me think of you in 1984.

I looked that bad?

You looked at lot worse at first. We could hardly see you had a face and your whole body was practically black from the bruises. And you had a bad burn on your right arm.

I feel ill.

And I still have that scar. Not many others, though. I healed up real good. On the outside anyway. But half of my insides are gone.

Your family weren't even like themselves. They were the happiest bunch of people I've ever known. Always laughing and singing. And noisy. But they got so quiet.

They've never let me see pictures of myself when I first came. Even after I came out of the coma, they wouldn't let me see a mirror for a long time.

Just a few days. I was there. I remember.

Maybe we should save this for next month. Burma, Delhi. Yech!!

OK. Oh, I needed to tell you. I tried to go to Jainworld and got a warning that it could harm my computer. What';s that about, do you know?

Let's check it out.

Here is what we got:

http://www.google.com/interstitial?url=http://www.jainworld.com/phil/dasl.htm

A warning about badware. It wasn't there before?

No. I go there all the time. It's never been there before.

I'd stay away. Especially with my poor ancient compy. You could send them an e-mail if you have their address. Maybe they've been sabotaged and they don't even know it.

I have the address. Will sending it hurt the computer?

No. Not sending.

I'll do that then.

Lilly, I'm getting really tired, I need to stop. I'm sorry. We haven't really said anything to publish.

*giggling* I yelled at Boo.

Oh, wow! That's worth publishing, for sure.

I want to put a picture of a tranquil Burmese pagoda. You know, that could say a lot. People will mentally put it next to what's happening now, so it could remind them without harming them.

Lilly, you're the only person in the universe that would come up with that.

I don't think so. It's kind of obvious. But you go lie down. I'll finish up.

My Birthday

MAHAVIRA

Today is my birthday and I'm here with Mai and Suni and Amritdeep. I guess you could say I'm surrounded by friendly Sikhs. We've all been sick but we're better now.








The Three Sikhs (TTS) (in unison): Happy Birthday, Lilly!







You guys are so funny. You always make me laugh.

M: It's good to laugh. Deposit laughter in the karma bank to pay off past and future debts.

A: Is that a Sikh teaching? I never heard anything like that.

M: I don't think so, but it's true. If it's not, it should be. But Lilly, we're all dying to know what Raj finally came up with.

Lilly: A whole bunch of stuff. Instead of a card, he gave me a thing he wrote, A Tribute To My Wife. Here I brought it. You can all look at it.

S: It's gorgeous. Did he hire a professional calligrapher?

L: No, he did it all himself.

M: Shit, he's talented!

L: Mai, please.

M: OK, but did you read what he wrote in my blog yesterday?

L: I know. But you know Raj. He likes to mouth off at you.

TTS: (All laugh.)

A: What else. I need ideas for Suni.

L: He took my favourite family portrait to some art place and they did it all in oil. It's like an oil painting of all six of us. And the frame is simple and elegant. We're hanging it in the living room.

M: Why didn't you bring it?

L: Way too big and heavy.

M: A big one, then.

L: Yeah. And he wants to buy a sailboat and take me sailing.

M: A sailboat? Not a yacht?

L: Don't give him ideas. But I think sailing would be fun. In the Sound or maybe on Lake Washington. After he gave me the picture, he handed me this.

I hand them a piece of paper.

S: A land deed?




L: For a cabin in the forest by a small lake. Nothing modern, no electricity. Well, there is a cesspool thing so we have a flush toilet! And some kind of solar heating cells because he knows how I hate to get cold. But other than that...Here are some photos. Wood stove, kerosene lamps, even a well. Our own well! Out away from everything. Quiet, peaceful. And you see what he named it?








TTS: Lilly's Retreat. Awwwwwwwwwww.








M: He can be obnoxious, Lilly, but he really does love you.

L (blushing): I know. He can be really sweet. And you have to admit he's handsome.

M: No, I don't. He needs more hair.

L: My mom was upset enough that I married a Hindu...named Singh, no less. She'd have had a heart attack if I married a Sikh.

M: Yeah, your mom has a thing about Sikhs. Does she still think I'm going to corrupt you? Get you eating potatoes or something?

L: I think so. We Jains may be peaceful and gentle, but we do have a tendency to be stubborn. And my mom's almost as stubborn as you are. What do you like to quote. That German thing. Martin Luther, I think.

M: Hier stehe ich; ich kann nicht anders. (Here I stand. I cannot do otherwise.) I know I have a reputation for stubbornness.

L, S, and A: Mai can out stubborn a cat!!

All laugh.

L: Mai, I want to ask you something.

M: Sure.


L: I read what you commented in Eleanor's blog. Just joking about how I'd react to you killing that, er, - put it like you do, so it looks like I'm cussing - [human male] that murdered Sandeep. Sandeep was so special.


M: Yeah


L: Did you really wonder how I'd react, what I'd do or feel about you?

M: Not while I was doing it. But when I first saw you when I came to in the hospital in Montreal and saw you, it did go through my head - pardon my language, 'Aw, shit...Lilly's not gonna like this.' I admit I was surprised about how calm you were about the whole thing.'

S: Of course, I'd already told them all everything that'd happened a few weeks before, so everyone had time to get used to it.

L: Yeah. Mostly I felt bad that you had been put in that position. I thought what I'd do if someone murdered one of my kids in front of me. But, you know, people don't go around massacring Jains much, so I won't have to face that. Truthfully, I don't know what I'd feel. I couldn't do much. I don't know anything about fighting.

M: Do I hear a shadow of 'Live by the sword, die by the sword?'

L: Of course. I've never hidden from you that I don't approve of the violent part of Sikhi. There's a karma thing. Remember the Tao Te Ch'ing? 'A violent man shall die a violent death.' If you harbour violence in your heart, it'll come back to you in one way or another.

M: But you have none in your heart?


L: I'm human. Don't you know that what happens to you happens to me, too?


A: Hey, you ladies are getting too serious. We're supposed to be talking about Lilly's birthday. And I think you're upsetting my wife.





S: I'm OK, Am. But yeah. Lilly tell us more about your birthday.

L (giggling): OK. I got some e-cards from my cyberfriends, Eleanor and Lin. They said such nice things to me. Both of them sent those funny little guys that crack us up, who are they, something and Yoyo.

M: Hoops and Yoyo.



L: Yeah. Different cards, too. When we finish this, I'll show them to you.


A: Those guys are a crack up.




M: This thing's getting long and I'm gonna have to do the proofreading and cleaning up, so why don't we end it and let me get to work.

L: We haven't decided on pictures.

S: How about three lions and a...a what?

A: Lamb?

M: Eating a lamb, maybe. We'll find something. Try Googling on 'three lions one lamb' image? We'll find something good.

L: But no violent pictures on my blog. I know we're writing this from Mai's account, but I still have veto power

M: Right. But let me put ClustrMap on your blog. That has to be done from the administrator's account.








L: But no one reads this!









M: A few now, but more'll come. I wish had those things from when I started. I just didn't know where to go or how to do it. Thanks, Eleanor!

L: OK, but I'm afraid my map will look underpopulated. But now, let's go look for pictures!

TTS: Agreed!.


LILLY AND RAJ

Lilly and Mai Have A Conversation

The orange is Mai and the other colours are me, Lilly, except at the very end, Suni says something in green.

OK. We're going to talk in my blog.

OK. What about?

Well, first I need to tell you I know what Raj said on your blog in the comments section.

Oh. I wasn't going to say anything. I really don't want to start fighting with him again.

I know. But what you said was really nasty.

He deserved it.

I know. But you'll never make peace if you always give back what the other deserves.

But I need 'Peace With Honour.' I can't have him dissing me on my Sikh Khalistan blog and not react at least somewhat strongly. And he did act like a slime ball.

Is that worse than a scuzball?

About the same.

Is that spelled right?

I dunno. Doesn't matter.

Why didn't you just delete his comment?

I don't do that. I only delete if someone says something illegal or actionable. I believe in freedom of expression, even if I disagree.

Voltaire?

Yeah, I think so.

So are you mad at Raj?

Not really. He can act the fool if he wants, but that fight's over and I won. I don't need to fight him any more. If he wants to shadowbox with the empty air, that's his business, not mine. I'll just leave him to his own karma.

Oh, good.

Can we talk about something else?

Sure. What?

What do you have planned to do for your birthday?

I don't know. Raj is up to something, but I haven't a clue what. I know he asked for suggestions on your blog. He makes me laugh! Has he gotten any responses?

Would I know?

Probably. You know everything that goes on on your blogs.

Oh, by the way, I took him off the authors list.

I noticed. Good idea. That's for the best.

Yeah. But your birthday.

It's a lousy day for a birthday! (Sept. 11)

Yeah, but as you said, he'll never forget it.

*Laughs* He never has anyway. You know what I'd really like?

(Enthusiastically) I'm listening

I'd like to turn off all the machines for a day. No TV. No radio. No computer. No Internet. No stove. No refrigerator.

No hot water?

Cold showers are your thing, not mine. I'll just bathe early while the water's still hot.

That's kinda weird, Lilly. The TV, radio, compy I understand. But the refrigerator?

All of it. I'd like to do some real pure simple living for a few days.

Simple living? That's gotta be the Quaker in you! A few days!? Well, maybe while the weather's still reasonably warm.

Uh huh. I don't mean to freeze. Quaker, Jain. Both emphasise simplicity.

Are we going to go back and two-colour this, so people who read it'll keep it straight?

Yeah, but do you think anyone'll actually read it?

I don't know. What do you think?

A couple. Eleanor and Boo have to because they asked us to do it. Lin'll read it; she reads all your posts. Probably Raj. We need to put in some words that the search engines will pick up; Kh-listan, Khal-stan, Khalist-n. That way people'll know you're here.

Mai, stop it!

I struck it. I don't think they'll pick up struck words.

I think you need to get rid of vowels or something.

OK. Done. Does that suit you now?

Yeah. That's funny now.

Are we going to proof-read this?

No. Just spellcheck.

This is awful. We haven't said anything.

Yeah, but it's the way we talk. Isn't that what they wanted?

I guess. It's just really, really dull.

I don't think it's that bad. You said you wouldn't fight with Raj. That's something .

I guess.

What about pictures?

You know that song we said sounded like us?

*singing* There's a rose in a fisted glove

And the eagle flies with the dove.

That one?

Love The One Your With?

You're. I just wrote about that in sometimes - 2. But that's the right song. We'll have to find an eagle eating a dove or something.

Not on my blog.

*snickering*

Shall we go looking for pictures and post?

Yeah.

But you have to put in the links and stuff.

You need to learn how to do that. This is your blog.

I'll try.

DO IT!

I'll do it then.

Suni, will you read this? Is this really how we talk?

Yeah, sounds like you two all right. So Lilly found out about Raj, after all? It's probably for the best. I don't think you two could keep something like that from each other anyway.

CATS and Kitty Karma

Mai is standing over me and telling me that I MUST write something here. This time she is right. I don't like for people to see a fight when they first see my blog. That does not fit with my dove or with my self-image. LOL.

She suggested a topic. Can an obligatory carnivore be a Jain? We had read a post from Eleanor Bloom's blog where she talked about cat karma. We both laughed long and hard at that.

The answer to the question is, No. Not in this lifetime. Eventually, the soul will progress to human form. Then she can become a Jain, if she does not run into Mai and her Sikhs first.

(Mai: Lilly, is that an insult?)

No, not at all. Just a fact. You make being a Sikh look so attractive and fun and joyful.

(Mai: 'Except for that, Mrs. Kennedy, did you enjoy the parade?')

I know, but you still do, even so.

Now she says I must find at least one picture and I have to figure out what words to enter. I'll try cat mouse.

There are 7,660,000 pictures with cat mouse. I chose these. Mai said I should try cat kill mouse and cat eat mouse, but I said no. This is my blog and I am not going to show ugly, violent pictures on it. I will go no farther than describing her beating up my husband.

Now she says I need to find a cat song. I have an idea, but she has to go away while I do this. Mai, go eat a potato or something for a few minutes, please.

(Mai: OK)

Mai, you can come back now.

(Mai: Oh, you do have a sense of humour, Ms. Lilly! You win.)

What do I win? A Jain potato, maybe?

hehehehehehehehe

Now she says I need a SiteMeter. Maybe another time.